


Deeper Feelinga

by SugaryMystery



Series: MerMay [2]
Category: Mermay - Fandom, exophilia - Fandom, exophilia writing - Fandom
Genre: Exophilia, MerMay, Other, Teratophilia, mtf, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24170968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugaryMystery/pseuds/SugaryMystery
Summary: Visiting an old friend can be a little risky but its always worth it
Relationships: nb merfolk x MTF human, nb monster x MTF human
Series: MerMay [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730284
Kudos: 3





	Deeper Feelinga

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second time I wrote about a trans character, so if I made any mistakes or something I wrote needs corrections please let me know (although I try not to go into much detail). This work has the only intention to entertain while respecting all parts. Enjoy!

Dark, heavy clouds cover the morning sky. A dense and strong breeze can be felt in the air, sending shivers through my spine. All the ships had returned to the port, the people inside them running to the warmth of their homes. But not me, not now at least.

This side of the beach is closed due to a large number of rocks in it, most of them covered in seaweed or moss which made them slippery, and therefore dangerous for people who would often climb on them just to get a better view for a selfie. I am one of those people, although my motives are completely different since I know there’s something much more valuable here than a simple picture. Something _bigger_.

I sit in the only rock that’s clean from seaweed, the constant hit of the waves must have help kept it smooth to the touch. I pull my knees to my chest, watching as to how calm looks the sea despite the awful weather, almost as a metaphor at how troubled the mind can be but the body wouldn’t show it. That thought me both giggle and grimace, but I push it aside, I chose a long time ago to stop remembering my past in such a bitter way. The only reason I came here is to visit an old friend from my youth, one that with time has become one of the dearest people in my heart.

When I first met Yara I still wasn’t unsure of who I truly was and only lived under the expectations of my family constantly pressuring me without me even noticing despite being an already grown person. I was dumb and young back then, not young enough to still be a child but not old enough to realize that danger signs are put in places for a reason, apparently. I was collecting shells that often were stuck between the large rocks, and if I was lucky, I could even find a few sea snails or sea stars that I would throw back into the water. One evening, when the sky was still grey and no boats could be seen from afar; I thought I saw a pinkish shell stuck in one of the rocks closer to the water so I carefully made my way towards it. The sad thing was that it wasn't a shell but a piece of plastic, and the sadder thing was that I had taken the wrong step and I ended up slipping into the water.

I didn’t know how to swim, I thought I never needed it since I spent most of the time walking in the sand, and while I kept falling deeper in the darkness of the sea, my heart was filled with such regret and desperation while the air of my lungs continues disappearing.

The next thing I knew I was being dragged back to the surface with great force. Once I felt the breeze in my face I opened my eyes and took deep breathes, so glad to be alive. I took around twenty deep breathes before I could finally focus my sight and noticed who was holding me, finally turning to face the mysterious creature.

I have to admit that I was a little spooked; Hands big enough in which I could sit on. Dark glimmering skin of a beautiful cerulean blue that changed its colors when the sunlight hit it. Dark and long hair that was cover with seaweed and a few crabs clinging to it, covering most of its face.

‘’Wha-‘’ was all I could say. The creature did not say anything and just took me back to the nearest shore, leaving me sitting in the sand.

‘’You shouldn’t leave the shore, small one’’ the creature said with a deep voice, smiling as if trying to sound comforting although that smile sent shivers down my spine at how big it was. Or maybe it was the cold from my wet clothes and a strong breeze?

''But-'' I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I started crying out loud glad that I had survived after such an experience, maybe because it was too late or maybe because the beach was too wide, but even though my cries made echo nobody came to check on us. My new friend didn't know what to do with me, surprised that I began crying like a little kid with no signs of stopping. For a couple of seconds, I saw them get in and out of the water as they started leaving stuff near my feet, some were small rocks or rusted coins, other were shells of all kinds and sizes. They did this nonstop until I stopped sobbing, by that time I was surrounded by all kinds of treasures from the deepest parts of the sea. 

Since then, I visited that exact part of the beach constantly. Sometimes during the day, other times we would meet closer to the night, each and every time my friend was waiting for me with another present to cheer me up. 

Today is the same. I'm holding my bag close to my heart, wearing some tall rain boots to keep my socks dry. When I see bubbles in the water I lean forward, already exited. Yara emerged from the water, careful not to splash me with their tail or long hair.

‘’You came!’’ they greet me with a wide smile filled with sharp teeth. ‘’You let your hair grown too!’’

I smile back at them. ‘’It looks like a mess, doesn’t it? I came from the shower not so long ago and it gets frizzy when I air dries’’ I try to smooth it down but it keeps coming back, however, they only shake their head.

‘’It’s beautiful. It suits you perfectly’’ they hold one of their hands, a handful of beautiful white shells and salt rocks in it. ''A new friend from the shallow waters came to visit and brought me these. They were breached by the high sun and temperatures they told me''

They looked like small buttons on their hands despite almost filling both of my hands. I put them on a small bag with sand on it, once I get home I'll let them dry to maybe put them on a jar to add to my collection, so far I have an entire bookshelf with gifts they have brought me. With some help from them, I get on their back, careful not to wet my clothes more than necessary. It was good that I brought a towel with me but the idea was not to use it, if possible. They take me swimming to this hidden cave which they once admit me was a safe place from the waves, during summer some fireflies would hide in here too illuminating the path and making it look like an enchanted place. Although with this cold I’m sure they must be hiding.

Yara lets me get on the rocky surface, carefully moving their hair aside from their face. I can almost feel all of their four eyes on me, some sort of oddity between merfolk which was the reason why they moved to this part of the beach; somewhere they weren’t bothered by something they couldn’t change.

‘’You’re heavier than the last summer, been eating a lot?’’ they smirk.

‘’Hey! It’s cold and the food here is good, you can’t blame me for eating a little more thanks to these cold temperatures’’ I grab my bag and pull a plastic container. ‘’I brought you some of that mackerel stew you like so much!’’

They smile widely, even though I brought him the biggest container I could find in the kitchen, it still looks so minuscule in their massive hands. It only takes them a sip to finish it all, cleaning the pot with their long black tongue before handing it back to me.

‘’Tasty!’’ they smile, resting their head on their forearms as they sigh happily. I lean against a rock too, just enjoying each other’s company but also feeling melancholically restless.

‘’Remember when we met again? That fall evening when I was still going by my birth name and had my hair short?’’

‘’Aye! You had hair in our face too!’’ they tail slaps at the water playfully, scaring some fish away in the process.

‘’I remember that day very well. It was really important to me, you know?’’ they tilted their head in confusion. ‘’Even though we had met before and talked often, and despite you already knowing most of my insecurities and doubts, I was still unsure why I was feeling the way I felt’’

I remember the sound of the dry leaves still attached to the trees whenever the wind would blow, taking some of them down with it. Yara was the same as always, patient, calm, but oddly amusing to talk to despite the little information they had on humans. That day we reached a point when I started complaining again about how I felt, about my parents and how I always felt like being in a jail with chains around me, and how heavy their expectations for me were not just about the life I wanted to live, but also about the person I wanted to be too.

Then Yara mentioned a story about other merfolk from the deepest waters. How they would go through different metamorphosis until they reached a final shape, a final form in which they felt comfortable around others yet at the same time being in constant change. ‘’Some have gender given to them since eggs, other change it as they grow once or twice, and others don’t have a gender at all!’’ It was fascinating for me to hear of such a thing! The depths of the sea sounded like a terrifying but wonderful place to leave in if you don't consider the many dangers in it.

I was taught that everyone is born a specific way and that we must give our last breath being happy with it. But Yara told the life in the sea is different.

‘’The sea taught all of us that life is short, despite being a constant cycle. Most beautiful and wonderful things under the shallow water came to be through a long and hard process. Nothing is born perfect, but we all work together to achieve the best versions of ourselves’’ they said to me. ‘’Take I for example’’ they moved their hair away from their face. ‘’I may look odd to some but my family always told me these extra pairs would come handy, which is why I can afford to live alone now without needing a shoal since I can see and hunt twice as fast!’’

‘’But that’s not the same’’ I remember had sniffled the words out. ‘’You were born like that, you just had to come to terms with what you already are’’

‘’Yeah, I was born like this, but I wasn’t I before. I always felt wrong and constantly hide from others because I wasn’t being who I was supposed to be, or so I thought…’’ They rested their big head on my lap while I tried to wipe my tears. ‘’I see you have the same worries as I, although it is not because you look wrong to others but to yourself. Sand may be made to be nothing more than simple tiny stones, but if they chose to change themselves than maybe they can achieve something more. Become something more too. Something so, so beautiful...’’

I remember breaking into tears to which they just hold me tight and let me use their shoulder to cry on. I came back home until late at night but I never felt lighter until that day.

The path ahead was rough, difficult, and I had to stay hidden from my family even longer until I could afford to keep my own place near the beach. I lose old friends, gain new ones, and met more people. Change many things about me that I didn’t like and let myself try things slowly, and the more information I was able to gather and experience gave me a path to felt comfortable in my own skin.

To think I came a long way makes me feel so old. Yara taps my cheek, calling for my attention moving their body so only their tail remains underwater.

‘’It took you too long, even longer than it took me during my metamorphosis. Are you over with it?’’ they ask me with those glassy eyes full of curiosity.

I laugh loudly, both amused by their curiosity and somehow taken by their words. ‘’I’m not sure. I don’t know how long it took to others, or if they had to take half or twice as long as me, I don’t know many people but the few I’ve met have been very helpful with the process. But to be honest with you, and myself… I don’t think it’ll ever end’’

‘’Never?!’’ they gasp. ‘’But, doesn’t it hurt you to be like that? Never sure of who you are?’’

‘’Oh, I know who I am’’ I smile, feeling a sense of pride filling my chest. ‘’It took me forever to finally know it, but I finally realize who I wanted to be. I’ve worked so hard to be like this, and in the process lost and gain many things; family, friends, and the acceptance I thought I would have once everything finally changed…’’ I sniffle a little and Yara tries to wipe away my tears but only ends up messing my make up even more. I laugh though, I know they try their best to understand me, and that itself it’s more than enough for me.

‘’I’m happy now, you know. I’m proud of myself! To be this person and let others knew me too!’’ I take hold of both their massive hands. ‘’All thanks to you’’

‘’I?! What did I do?!’’ they asked.

‘’You listened to me about my worries growing up, you comforted me when I had fought with my parents about our ways of thinking, and even until this day you keep bringing me gifts to cheer me up!’’

‘’Ah! But that’s what friends do! And I’ll do it again, and again if it means you would smile!’’

I rub their hands, leathery and slimy but so comforting in my memories. ‘’You did a lot, even if you don’t realize it now’’ I kiss their knuckles. ‘’It helped me take my first step to be who I needed to be’’ I lean forward and press a kiss to their forehead just above their eyes.

They visibly jump and submerge their body back into the water leaving only their eyes visible, something they do when they get embarrassed or scared. I reach for them, patting their head softly, giggling. ‘’I’m happy that I helped you. You are dear to us, so very much…’’ That is all I could manage to understand between bubbles.


End file.
